The Hawkins Family

The Hawkins Family

Friday, September 17, 2010

I will RUN.

In June of this year I made the decision and started down a new journey in my life. Running. I had tried this sport on and off for the past two years but never caught the "addiction" until this past June. Something in me changed. I believe it all is part of a new creation that God is creating inside of me. See I decided to partner with "HIM" on this road to weight loss and mastering this new hobby of mine. I can honestly say that I will give my Father all the glory for my success I have had. There are times when I am tackling a hill and I feel as if I will not make it and I focus my eyes to the sky and imagine him cheering me on. See I have tried for years to concur my weight problem. Bouncing up and down year to year. I finally came to my wits end. I feel flat to my face one late night and begged God to change me. Change my way of thinking about eating, change my desires of the food I craved, change my problem with committment to being active. And guess what, he answered. This experienced has taught me to lean completely on my everlasting Father. I do not know everything about eating right, or losing weight, or running. But He has placed a fire in my soul to learn and to complete this journey to finish my race. A passion has been revealed to me through God's mercy for me. I have decided that if I feed this passion for running and put a purpose behind the passion that it will make the victory much sweeter. I am running my first race tomorrow at the Lincoln County Apple Festival. It's only 3 miles but a huge milestone for me. I will continue my training for my half marathon that I will FINISH on my 27th birthday on the 11th of December.

One night I was awakened by nothing other than the Holy Spirit after praying over mutiple occurances in my life. I had hit a hard time in my training and was exhausted mentally and physically. I pulled myself out of the bed and went and sat on my couch with pad and paper in hand and the words written below flowed faster that my hand could write. I held onto these words for a while now until I felt the time was right to share the passion behind my purpose of running. 

I will run so that my voice will be heard.
I will run for the little girl who felt abandoned.
I will run for the little girl who felt she had no voice.
I will run for the little girl who had a poor self image.
I will run for the little girl that was violated, battered, destroyed.
I will run for me, the little girl who is now a woman.
I will run for the woman who has been broken and scarred.
I will run for me, the little girl who became a woman and now a mother.
I will run for the mother who prays her son will follow her passion for people, life.
I will run for the woman who once felt insignificant, but through Christ has found her purpose.
I will run to finish my race.

Then a few nights after the words above were sent, the one's below were born. It's no longer about just me, it's about others LIKE me.

I will run for every woman who has ever felt abandoned.

I will run for every woman who has been violated.
I will run for every woman who has battled with a poor self image.
I will run for every young girl and woman who feels that they have no voice.
I will run for every women and girl who needs their voice to be heard.
I will run for the passion of my father's heart to concur the meaning of perserverance, faith, determination, strength and success.

There is more to this story that will be shared in time. This is the time for this tidbit.

So I ask for prayers as this purpose for my running continues to come clear. I know that our community's on the brink of REVIVAL. I am ready to be used as a vessel of God.
Blessings to my all who read this my sweet friends. I welcome your comments and prayers as I continue down the journey that my Faithful Father is walking me down.
May your day end in smiles....

Monday, March 15, 2010


So I have been gone into Blogging heaven for alittle while... But now I'm BACK!!

Ok, So everyone needs to know about this. I was sitting on my couch one Saturday afternoon and I was watching public television (lol) and Jillian Micheals was on talking about her new book Master Your Metabolism. I was in awe of everything that she has included in this book! I went to the book store and bought it going on 3 weeks ago now. It is sooo amazing. It talks about how hormones effect weight loss for women and men! It also tells how things in our enviroment are effecting our hormones which effects our weightloss!!! The book includes recipes also! So I went onto Jillian's website and joined her website.. It provides me with all my meal plans, shopping list and excercise circuts... It also has her personal weight loss blog, along with other people you can connect too and personal coaching... Everyone has got to check this out!!!
I am super excited! I love all the food, it's easy to make and it's not those weird crazy ingredieants that you find in other diet plans. And I don't even feel like I'm on a diet! And I joined Jillian's facebook and twitter. She is soooo in touch with her fans.. You can send her a message and she replys almost instantly on Twitter! I can't believe how down to earth she is! I never knew that she was an overweight child, and in her book or on her website she never tells you anything's going to be easy with weightloss. Finally someone tells the truth!  I have lost almost 12lbs in 2 1/2 weeks and I haven't even had time to do any of the excercise circuts... GO BUY IT NOW!!!!

I will keep everyone updated on my progress!

Sunday, February 21, 2010

I am in such awe right now... I am seeing prayers being answered everyday. Prayers that have been said for years over and over in anticipation... and recent prayers that God graciously is answering! I am seeing new friendship blossom in my life and old friendships rekindled..... 

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Valley of Pain

Today is a tough day for me. Without knowing my life story it's hard for people to understand the reasoning behind the way I feel today.... There are many people that I miss from my family... They are celebrating a new life as of yesterday and I am not able to celebrate with them. I wish them all love and blessings... I don't know if the bridge will ever be re-built between all of us. Only God is big enough to take care of this one. He is the only one who can heal the hurts and dry the tears. There is a deep valley of pain in my heart that I wonder if it will ever go away. Even though there has been tremendous healing... there's still a wound beneath the scar. I need the loving arms of Christ to wrap around me and comfort the heartache today... People say hindsight is 20/20... I seem to recall this saying the most on days like this ... I wish I could go back..and change how things were done.. Now I can see that there was a better way to tell a story of a young girl in pain.. instead of acting out of anger.. maybe things would be different now. But was it all in God's plan? I know he is the only one who gave me the courage to speak out... I know he was the one I clinged to during the darkest moments of my life... I am hanging on to the cloak of Christ today with all my might...

Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning. Psalm 30:5

Friday, February 5, 2010

Extraordinary Women Conference

I will be planning to attend this conference.. Mandisa will be there!!! Whew enough said!!  So excited.. I hope to be such an influence on women one day to be able to speak at one of these events....What you think about you bring about!  I am super excited! I get so encouraged when I attend these events. They have such great praise and worship and who doesn't love a little girlfriend time?!

Check out the website for Extraordinary Women... It is such a great orginization!

Extraordinary Women Conference

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Moonlight Prayer

I was walking through the snow tonight with my son on our way home from my mother in laws,having a litte moonlight prayer time with God, and I think about how some of my family and friends are spending their time. At this very moment, there are so many of them running around without a care in the world. Parting every single weekend. Becoming the slave of alcohol and drugs. Some of them with children and some of them not. However I am not condeming anyone becuase I have been redeemed of those terriable desires. Sometimes I ask God why is it that it's so hard to be different. Why is it so hard to fit in, and then I hear him answer that I'm not supposed to. I am unique, an orginal... I looked up to the heavens on this clear, cool night and breathe all of it in... So much beauty.. With moonlight dancing across the frozen wonderland which used to be our front yard, I allow the coldness to feel my lungs. It's so refreshing and fulfilling. And I whisper to my God, thank you, thank you for my beautiful family, my warm home and for your grace.... Just a few thoughts from my moonlight prayer....

Joy Bubble

I am currently starting a bible study with a few girlfriends titled Conatigous Joy by the Women of Faith Series. In the forward written by Patsy Claremont, she made a few statements that really periced my heart. "True joy spreads as we live out God's way in our lives with such credibilty that others move closer to purposely catch it." Wow! I mean think about it, how many truly JOYOUS people do we know. Authentictly joyous, and not pretending with over-done niceness.... I feel that sometimes, I have played the over-done niceness card. However, not done intentionally. But I feel this is part of being in the flesh. This is NOT my hearts desire by no means. Patsy was referring to a friend of hers that always chose to believe the best and leave the rest to the Lord....
(hmmmm... contiplate on that for a moment) She referred to her friend as an authentic "joy bubble"! I LOOOVE IT! I immediatley wrote in my book a prayer.. " Lord I want to be a joy bubble for you, my family and friends and everyone I come in contact with... an authentic, not overdone niceness.. I want it to be direct from my heart...
So I did learn something, and wish I would have learned it of it sooner. All we have to do is ask for God to show us the path to the lovely ways of his law. Whether we believe it or not, we are alot like our chilren at times. They are spoiled with a room overflowing with toys and all we hear is " I'm Bored". Wow, Jonathan and I were talking about this and our spiritual lives are like this sometimes. We are surrounded with so many wonderful things, Gods blessings. New cars, a nice home, a cabient full of food etc.. And all we can do sometimes is feel unhappy and the urge to want more. We find no joys in our days. " We long for joy as if it were something far off and unobtainable." But all we have to do ask.... In Psalm 51:8 the psalmist's is praying for the Lord to make him hear joy and gladness, so that the bones that thou have broken may rejoice... It's that simple. I couldn't believe it!
All we have to do is ask!! Ask it unto his name it shall be done!
I want joy that will cause my toes to tap, my heart to giggle, my dreams to return, my spirit to be refreshed and so my vision can expand!  I don't want to have to convince others about my joy... I want it to be CONTAGIOUS!!  Per Patsy's words, "Joy-people are popular, IN DEMAND, hired first, applauded, appreciated and sought out. " Sometimes all we have to do to rediscover our joy is to look at things differently, we need to open our eyes in order to see something that has always been there...
So what do you say??? I say sign me up for a big fat case of JOY!

Did you know that Joy is our birthright as believers! However sometimes tragedy or bad situations seem to make it hard to hang on to it.... Let's reclaim our JOY!

Let's all become JOY BUBBLES!!!!

"I'm whistling, laughing, and jumping for joy; I'm singing your song, HIGH GOD." Psalm 9:2 MSG

Love and blessings to all!